Here's Bam 

Alright, I've gone back to blogger.. but I'm not going to use this one. I'm making my own, personal one. I'm tired of not being honest.. I don't give a shit if anyone reads anything I write anymore... Online journals are kind of a joke.. because after a while, you're just writing for people to read what you have to say.. Not like a real journal..

So.. it's been fun.

peace.

Snake...

You had to challenge me, didn't you.. Snake..
You had to shoot your revolver at me.
Make me follow you through your sewers.. with your.. dogs..
I'll never chase your apes.
I'll never get your cammo.
Though I may crawl through the forrest, and try to shock you by sneaking up on you..
I won't give in.
Giving in would mean that I have to sneak into Ben's room.
I have to come back to you.


God, I'm drunk.

Revolver shot my eye out.


Bah nah naaaaaah!

spider 

this is the motherfucker who scared me 

Nostalgic fits of jealous rage

Hmm.. it's been a long time in terms of me updating I suppose. I quit for a while, since I thought everyone who read my journal's opinion of me was a lot more important than what I initially started a journal for anyways.

This is my journal. Occasionally people piss me off. And, while yes.. this journal is online, where people can read it.. It is MY journal, you don't have to read it, and you should know that when I do vent in here about people, it's only so I can have a place to relieve some stress as opposed to blowing up in someone's face. Kind of the modern version of writing a letter and not mailing it.

A journal to me is more or less a coping mechanism. So, here I go.

A lot has happened since I last updated. I've spent a lot of time with my friends, the people who make me truly the happiest. The guys in my apartment, Tom, Ben, and Cooner... Well, they're amazing. Not in the way a girl would call her friends amazing, but in the way that when I need to forget something, I can spend an hour with them, laugh my ass off.. and then I'm pretty good.

I've spent a lot of time with Ashley. We've grown really close, and I've really enjoyed her company. It's really good to have girls for friends. While she does play videogames with us and do the stuff that us guys do.. it's an entirely different type of friendship than I have with the housemates.

This past weekend, I drove to Stillwater to go to Orange Peel. I stayed at Jeremy's with he and Kyle, but Jennifer, Susanne, Amanda (a girl from back home.. my first girlfriend ever actually) and Jenn's mom went with us. It was a pretty good time until some really innebriated people showed up. Not so much a problem that they showed up, but they were sitting right in front of me, and some of them weren't in the right seats.. so it was really smashed space, and they were really all over the place. There was a chick who I wanted to punch in the throat, she drove me crazy. So, Susanne and I tried to go outside to listen from the outside of the stadium, but unfortunately, we couldn't hear from out there, and we couldn't get back in once we had left.. So, we just walked around OSU's campus, eventually just sitting by a pond and talking. It was a good talk.

I've got a lot of things in my life that I really need to sort out lately. A lot of issues that seem like they're walking the fine line between normaly disfunction and big time drama. Baby's mama drama even....

Ok, well..... not so much.. just sounded funny.

Anyways, I enjoyed the rest of my weekend, rented Silent Hill 4, got scared.. and saw Resident Evil 2. Not as good as I had hoped, but still pretty scary. I don't like endings that do nothing but set up the next movie.. but I can get over it.

So, I really don't want to write anymore right now, because Adult Swim is going to be coming on pretty soon. Sweet ass.

I'd also like to skate tonight.. Though, I might get lazy. Will probably call Ashley and see if she wants to come hang.

Peace.

There has been a lot of anger over some of my posts. I posted something about Susanne's mom, that, had they been said aloud, I suppose would have been in poor taste. While this is my journal, I suppose I forget that it is online, and people can get offended.

Though, I would like to fly a middle finger, and continue to write, I honestly don't want to argue with people. I've got bigger things to worry about than an online journal. I know I honestly enjoy reading the journals of my friends, and I like knowing how they're feeling about life.. So, I'm sorry if any of you wish I would keep writing. I've been really depressed lately, concerning Susanne's family situation, and our friendship.

So, instead of making more fights than I care to have, I'm just going to stop posting.

Thanks to those who have been there for me. This is a lot cheesier than I wanted it to be. Peace

You, you bring the cats

Ok well, it's been an interesting weekend. I didn't really do a whole lot Friday night. There were a lot of people over, coming and going. I realized that Hero was out, so I went and saw that with Cooner, Lucky, Kyle and Jamie. I had a good time, though the movie I didn't really care for. It was too much like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon I thought. I mean, I wanted just a cool action movie, and not a drama. I don't want to leave a movie like that feeling like I've learned something, or like I care about life more.

Not that type of movie.

Anyways, after that, I went back to the apartment, and I just hung out for a while. I invited Ash over, and we kind of just sat there while everyone continually got more drunk. I bought some beer that night, but I really didn't feel like drinking, so Ash and I just went over to her apartment and watched Drop Dead Gorgeous.. one of my favorite movies.

Let me tell you, any movie with a retarded person in it that isn't sad... Pretty high on my list.

I had a good time with Ash, though we both got tired and stopped the movie early.

Saturday, I drove to Tulsa with Ben to see my family and Susanne. We all went to lunch together, and then Ben and I spent the afternoon/evening with Susanne. We were supposed to go to the movies and then meet some of her friends at Incredible Pizza.. I mean, just a few, so I could see who she was hanging out with this school year. Well, 21 people from her school came.. they were like a freaking church group. I was a little peeved, because we were only there to meet her friends, and at one point, someone looked at us and was like "Oh, I don't recognize them.. are they with us?" The even started singing friggin' hymns in the entry to the restaraunt. Then, Ben, Suz, and I sat alone for most of the meal. I met a couple of people, and then didn't really see them again.

So, instead of eating and hanging out for a while, they ate in another room as a big group, not with us.. and then left early to go back to their college and play capture the flag. I mean, they seemed nice, but I really don't feel like I met any one of them. Well, except for one girl, Daisy I think.. she seemed nice. Can't remember any one of the others.

Today, I did laundry, and that was about it for the better part of the day. Ben and I rented a game that we played online, which was fun... We went over to Ash's this evening, and that was a freaking blast. We played SSX some, but then we busted out this karaoke game, and that was hilarious. The girls kicked our butts.. but oh well, I still laughed until I cried.

Came home, watched Bowling for Columbine, and now I'm going to bed.

I'm trying to figure some stuff out lately, and I'm not gonna put that in here, but I guess we all need our time to do that. I hope everyone can be patient.. and heck.. if you can't, don't read this journal.

I really miss Jeremy. I hear things about him in passing, and I really wish I could hang out with him. I guess I'll see him next weekend for Orange Peel. Should be fun.

Later cats, Alex

I want to be eccentric

I don't want to write a whole lot tonight, because I've got a lot of things going through my head. I've had a really great week with some of the people I care about the most.

Coming back to college has been kind of eye opening. I still don't talk to some friends I lost last year. I'm still close to ones that I made new last year, and some of the ones I thought were really good friends, turned out to not be.

I was watching a commercial for the movie I heart Huckabees.. on www.apple.com, go to quicktime, movie trailers, and it's under fox searchlight... watch it.

I've decided that with my new choice to go back into psychology.. I want to dedicate my life to just watching and appreciating people. For just how different we are.

We rented The Girl Next Door tonight. It was really good, but it made me think a lot. It reminded me of my freshman year of college...

I'm going to Tulsa this weekend to see my family, Susanne, and some randoms from Bartlesville. I'm pretty excited, because I get to see a lot of people I miss from home, and I get to see Garden State. The movie I've waited months for.

Ashley came over tonight, and I really can't explain how cool it is that she comes to hang out with us guys. She's definitely someone I want around a lot this year. She's a blast.

I've got a lot going on in my mind. Stuff even I can't get a grip on just yet, so I'm gonna keep it under wraps right now. Peace.